TAKEN-FOR-GRANTED

Name one thing that you take-for-granted. By take-for-granted I mean something you haven't thought about as being a habit in your life and you are unaware of it. By definition if it is taken-for-granted and you become aware of it then it is no longer taken-for granted since you are now aware of it. Try it.

Maybe you said, "I take for granted that I am an American citizen." In the mere act of speaking those words you become aware of them and it is impossible to take them for granted anymore. Why? Because as soon as you say I am an American citizen certain thoughts, images, and beliefs immediately fill your mind. The flag. The National Anthem. Voter. Pride. Tax payer. Freedom. You can not take that statement for granted because it conjures up your definition of an American citizen as soon as you say it.

Are there things you are unaware of that you take for granted? Yes and no. As long as you are not aware then you are taking them for granted but as soon as you become aware of something it can no longer have a taken for granted status attached to it. So what's the point of this?

What if somebody accused you by saying "You don't appreciate our friendship. You take me for granted." There is nothing you can say to defend yourself; except to see if you can argue your way back into their good graces. You have been had by the-taken-for-granted blame monster.

Parents do this to their children. "You don't appreciate all I do for you around here." First you are suddenly aware the topic is "appreciation" and "enough." Second, anything you say will be used against you. The mere fact you are having this argument proves their point. If you didn't take them for granted they wouldn't have had to say anything. Of course there is one thing. You weren't made aware in advance that the unspoken topic was "awareness". Had you been aware before being blamed for taking them for granted you could have prepared yourself and not gone on the defense.


Don't worry. Anyone who feels unappreciated speaks this way. It's like they don't know any other way. But there are other ways to have this conversation.

Mom: "I'm tired of doing all I do around here and nobody saying anything about appreciating it. So in the future, I'd like you to tell me when you sincerely feel like saying thank you or some such thing so I won't feel taken for granted."

Response: "You're right mom. We don't say it enough. We overlook and take what you do for granted. So when you least expect it and I feel it, watch out for some new words of appreciation.
Oh, And I won't be saying anything just because you asked. When I do say something you'll know it comes from my heart."

Mom: "Ok. And by the way I'd appreciate it if would you take out the garbage in the next five minutes?"