I am a male feminist. Or more accurately I am a recovering male. I wouldn't want the headaches of being a women in this society. So I am lucky. I am a privileged male. Here are some things I have learned along the way.
I have had single men say to me "I'm dating this girl". My response is "Oh my, how old is she?
A single female says, "I am dating this man." I've never heard a woman refer to a dating companion as a boy. How interesting.
How do men "deal" with crying or sadness. Often they will say, "He is just being "touchy-feely". He cries like a girl. (There is that "girl" again.) Or men will say, "He's such a pussy." The implication being that because a woman has a vagina she is weak, subservient, and a wimp.
How do men "deal" with women who cry? Get uncomfortable. Don't know what to do. And sometimes say, "Stop being so sensitive. I didn't mean it".
Another everyday example: At work some men refer to their wives as "the little woman". Endearing? Perhaps. And also demeaning. What would it sound like to hear women refer to their husbands as "my little man"? Has an odd ring to it. That's because language subtly enables men to put women in an inferior position to themselves.
Another example: When men get angry with their partners, they sometimes swear and call their wives a "C...". As if a woman and her genitalia were despicable.
Another way we dehumanize women is to not just look at an attractive women but turn them into "objects" of sexual fantasy.
What is a recovering male? A man who is willing to become aware of his blind spots when it comes to how they treat and think about women. So men, if you have the nerve and the opportunity ask a woman how she sees you treating women. You might be unpleasantly surprised.
(I am aware this is a heterosexually oriented article)
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